Posts Tagged ‘failing’

Happy December, everybody. Happy Thanksgiving, happy winter, happy end-of-Nano. Yeah, I did Nano this year. Yeah, I gave up about halfway through. Yeah, I lost.

Yeah, I’m rather ashamed. I mean, I wrote 73,000 words the first time I even attempted Nano. (Of course, back then I was young and unafraid. And dreams were made and used and WASTED.) This year I only wrote a meager 24,000 words before my mind dried up and my ideas fell into the sewer of abandonment. So yes, I’m rather ashamed. But, the thing is, I’m not nearly as angry as I might have been in previous years.¬†See, this year I decided to take a more relaxed approach to Nano (er, well, actually, I meant to plan for Nano a lot earlier, but stuff kept getting in my way. The internet, for example?) So I ended up barely figuring out my plot and a few characters before November 1st arrived. Oh, and a calendar. I made a calendar for myself, which took up most of the time I would have been otherwise planning. I’m very good at distracting myself when I feel like it. The problem is, though, I’m more of a planner by nature, really, at least in the realm of noveling. So I was a little bit lost, but still trudged ahead, determined to write every day until the word count bar read 50,000.

That worked for the first bit of November, but it became increasingly harder to reach my daily word count goal. Every day I would fall a little more behind, and then a little bit more, and soon I was looking at about 5,000 words that I needed to write in one day. It was about then that I threw in the towel, which is evident by my stats:

NaNo Stats 2013

 

It probably didn’t help that every night instead of diligently writing my 1667 words, I kept getting distracted by things like my friends (thanks, guys), Candy Crush, and other various pursuits. Or at least that’s what I told myself. In reality, I was sort of just using those things as an excuse for my not writing. This Nano, it was just plain difficult to get the words out. I dug myself holes and didn’t feel like getting out of them.

Writing is like a muscle. I’ve heard that more times than I can count on both my hands. To become a better writer, you have to write regularly. Otherwise, your little writing muscle gets old and stiff and doesn’t work very well anymore. That’s common sense, more or less. I know this. I just never put it into practice, because I don’t have much motivation.

Nano is a good remedy for my lazy writer syndrome, or at least it was, until this year. This year my un-motivation seeped into the days of Nano, and soon I didn’t feel like putting the effort in to write more words. Like, what’s the point?

That’s basically how I lost both Nano and my dignity at the same time.

I haven’t yet figured out a cure for my lack of motivation. Lately, I haven’t been motivating myself to do anything at all, which is a little frightening. I haven’t been doing the things which I love–writing, reading, photography, photo editing, the list goes on–in fact, I haven’t been doing much at all. And now that snow has started falling (on my blog, too! Aren’t the little flakes pretty?) and the daylight hours are shorter and the temperatures are dropping consistently, my motivation hasn’t exactly been increasing. Winter is pretty, fo sho. But it’s dark and stuff. And cold. I don’t like cold. So winter sort of just makes me want to wrap up in a couple thousand blankets and fall asleep for a couple thousand years. It certainly doesn’t make me want to do anything of value.

NEVERTHELESS. I’m gonna try. I’m gonna try reallllllly hard to start being a Person Who Does Things. Perhaps not primarily writing, though I do want to start writing again for reals. But I want to start taking advantage of the free time I get, and using it to do stuff that makes me happy. Because I don’t want my entire freaking life to end up like this year’s Nano did–abandoned in favor of doing nothing. I really don’t want to live like that. So, CHANGE. MOTIVATION. HAPPINESS. Or the PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS, rather.

Wish me luck, friends. Wish me lots of luck.

Onnnnnnn a side note…IT’S MY ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY TODAY, PEEPS.

One year ago today, I started this weird little blog. And while I haven’t been a diligent poster (especially as of late), I’ve managed not to abandon it. That’s a big thing. Soooooooo happy anniversary to me and also this blog. Yayz.

In honor of this momentous milestone, I’ve decided to change up my blog a little bit. Hitherto this day, I’ve written about a fair amount of subjects. Mainly, however, I’ve focused on stuff like books and writing and movies. While I love all three of those, of late I really haven’t been hit by inspiration on any of those fronts. So I’m just going to start writing stuff. Thoughts, and crap like that. Because A) it might help me on the posting-more front (but no promises, as always) and B) I have lots of thoughts, and writing has always been a good way for me to express my thoughts in a coherent manner. This isn’t a huge change, but the spectrum of my blogging topics will be probably expanding in the future. Just so ya know.

If you’ve made it this far…Wow. You rock. No seriously, dude, I like you. And now I’m too tired and hungry to proofread this post, so I’m sure it’s very confusing. Props to you, anyhow.

See you when I see you.